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1. Murphy's law : If anything can go wrong, it will.
2. O'Toole's commentary on Murphy's law : Murphy was an optimist.
3. The unspeakable law : As soon as you mention something, if it's good, it goes away; if it's bad, it happens.
4. Nonreciprocal laws of expectation : Negative expectations yield negative results. Positive expectations yield negative results.
5. Howe's law : Every man has a scheme that will not work.
6. Zymurgy's first law of evolving system dynamics : Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use a larger can.
7. Ettore's observation : The other line moves faster.
8. Skinner's constant factor : That quantity which, when multiplied by, divided by, added to or subtracted from the answer you get gives you the answer you should have gotten.
9. Law of the selective gravity : An object will fall so as to do the
most damage.
Jenning's coroliary : The chance of the bread falling with the
buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
10. Gordon's first law : If a research project is not worth doing at all, it is not worth doing well.
11. Maier's law : If the facts do not confirm the theory, they must be disposed of.
12. Hoare's law of large problems : Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out.
13. Boren's first law : When in doubt, mumble.
14. The golden rule of arts and science : Whoever has the gold makes the rules.
15. Barth's distinction : There are two types of people : those who divide people into two types, and those who don't.
16. Segal's law : A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.
17. Ninety-ninety rule of project schedules : The first 90% of the job takes 90% of the time, and the last 10% takes the other 90%.
18. Farber's fourth law : Necessity is the mother of strange bed fellows.